Compelling Forces

On the brink of change – an exploration into the unknown

On the brink of change — March 17, 2014

On the brink of change

I know that I am on the brink of change; I am on the brink of very big change which is both empowering and frightening in equal measures, depending on my perspective at the time and whether I am thinking with my head or my heart.

My children have left home, I have no ‘significant other’, I recently left a job which was poorly paid and unsatisfying and I live in a city in the East Midlands to which I have little affinity.  So I find myself with new found freedom and a pull ~ in fact a compelling, tugging force ~ which is nagging me to get out into the big wide world to explore and understand life in a way I have never previously felt able to.

So this is my story, it’s been evolving for a long time, bubbling away like a sleeping volcano in the depths of my soul, yet increasingly desperate to be set free, to be explored and to be given the life blood it deserves. This is a story that has no real beginning, no definition at present and definitely no specific or planned outcome; I don’t know where it’s going to lead, but I trust that the Universe will take me in the right direction and let me know when I am ‘done’.  What I do know is that my deep spiritual desire to act now far outweighs my previously perceived deep-rooted longing to find my place, real security and love in this materialistic ‘system’ of untruths in which I believe we exist.  I know this desire and I am beginning to trust it; I have lived with it for a very long time.  Over many years I have tried to conform and to quash the messages my intuition has been feeding me but being a deeply spiritual soul, I now realize that I have denied myself my birth right of real physical and emotional freedom.  For way too long my head has ruled my heart, now this is the story of my leap of faith.  I hope you will join me on my spiritual journey as it unravels in my quest to find my own inner peace, freedom and truth.